Me? A runner?

     Let me start with the numbers, because they are awesome.  I ran eight times for a minute at 5.5mph.  I covered 1.7 mi.  My thirty minutes started out strong.  I ran every other minute for eight minutes in the beginning.  My Heart Rate started at 136, an all time low and didn't go higher than 174 for the first four runs.  The fifth through eighth runs (random minutes between ten and twenty minutes) hit 187.  I was pushing myself.
     I am impressed with my HR for the first four minutes.  It felt easier to get my breath back when I finished the run.  When the fifth spiked, I was reminded of my weight.  But before that, I felt like a runner.  It felt great and I inspired myself to add to my routine.  I started punching my hands in front of me with every running step.  I think adding this raised my HR in addition to my body tiring.
      It seems like I'm falling into a comfortable routine.  Now, I have to follow through and run until it is second nature.  Next, I will be looking to replace off days with workout days.  I think it is an attainable goal to try for walking/jogging every day when I drop some weight.  It'll be crazy!  I will be a runner!

Gonna motivate myself!

     Today is a workout day.  I am going after lunch and plan on adding five to ten extra minutes to my routine.  Also, I hope to set a personal best with running minutes.  I have high expectations for myself and feel motivated.  It is going to be a great workout day!

LAZY!

     Well, I guess I was due for a lazy day.  This was it.  Even my typing feels heavy and slow.  I have a friend that would find this to be the right moment to break into song, "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow!"

A mountain of a day

     So, I never made it out of the house before lunch and I fell asleep afterward.  I woke up in the lowest place in my mind.  Working out was at war in my head.  It was the negative excuses verses the positive reasons for working out.  It took two hours and many requests for the pool by my son to motivate myself to get off of the couch.
     I ran a minute every few minutes during my thirty.  I started out strong.  I have trimmed my heart rate down to 134 when walking.  It used to be 146.  My heart rate after running a minute used to be 187, dangerously high.  I do not suggest that anyone keep their heart rate that high, ever!  Today, after my first and second minute, my rate was 174.  It didn't get over 185 until the last few running minutes.  If I can run more minutes next time, then hopefully my HR will will be lower on the third and fourth minutes.
     Making it through my final minute run was difficult.  I kept looking down at those darn foot rails on the side of the belt.  They loom under me pleading with me to stand on them.  "Just step on the sides and take a break", they scream.  The positive voice in my head screams back,"NO!"
     So, today was all about getting from the bottom to the top.  Whether it was baby steps when putting on my sneakers or enormous strides at a record 5.5mph on the treadmill, I made it through today.
    

Early morning workout?

     It's early o'clock in the morning.  My body is feeling better now, even my calves and shins are less tender.  I'm thinking about today's exercise.  The treadmill and elliptical are calling to me and I will conquer them. 
     So, will I get off the computer, better yet the couch, to go to the gym?  Or will I wait to exercise after lunch?  I've never been a morning person.  Although, I have never been an exerciser either.  We will see. We will see.

Looking forward

     It feels like I was hit with a baseball bat in multiple areas of my body.  I thought the shin splints and calves were bad, but this is ALL over.  The strangest and most unexpected place is my abdominal area.  My quads hit my belly when I ride, even though my bike is set to my height. Yes, my belly is that big for now.
     Working out every other day is definitely producing some results.  My chest and hips went down an inch since I started.  That is amazing.
     A friend suggested that the every other day goal is beneficial in that IF I work out on an off day, then I would feel more successful.  I like that idea.  It is the feeling of pride and success that is driving me right now.  I look forward to one of those days.

I'm pink!

     My bike ride was a success!  I rode farther and faster.  It was awesome how I got to the place I had turned around last time and didn't even stop today!  I paused for street crossings and once to take a picture.  The pride is worth the grinding pain of pushing those damned pedals.  I am really excited about my next ride.  I've got to push myself and see what else I can feel.

So sore...

     Well, today's obstacles are my lower legs.  My calves are tighter than they have ever been.  Shin splints are making it difficult to walk.  I cannot miss a workout though.  No matter the pain, I have to burn off some calories.  But, the most important point is to keep the routine going.
     I love the feeling of accomplishment.  It is the one thing that keeps me going during my thirty minutes.  Conquering my smaller goals leads to the ability to achieve my bigger goal--to become a healthier person.
     Now, to motivate myself and follow through.

Resting today

     So, today is a rest day.  My calves are wrecked!  The pain when I walk is worth it though.  I have such a positive attitude about exercising.  It relaxes me and helps me through the tough times, whether on the treadmill or in life.
     Tomorrow, I continue to work out every other day.

Success!

     Ouch!  My shins and calves are tingling right now..On the treadmill, they were burning and stinging so badly.  I had to stop and do the elliptical for two minutes to warm them up more.  Thankfully, it worked.  My jogging was better this time.  I had an average 174 heart rate instead of 185 like the other day.  It shows me that I am improving.  I'm not where I want to be, but I am on my way.

Consistency...

     Today is a workout day!  I have to keep my brain focused and ready to go to the gym.  It is early morning right now and I have a lot of positive feelings about today.  I like the way my feelings are beginning to change about walking/jogging on the treadmill.  Jogging is giving me a real feeling of accomplishment.  I can sense the change in my way of thinking about it all.
     It's only going to get better!  And, I hope I can use this post in the future to come back to when I am feeling down or questioning myself.  I want to be healthy.  Ending my obesity is the real goal.

Housework today!

     There's some comforting in the fact that I am not going to the gym today.  But, I am looking forward to completing another workout on the treadmill.  It's confusing, I know.  Well, I never expected it to be easy while acclimating to this routine; a routine that I have not had in all of my thirty-nine years.  Heavy housework will have to do for today.

ahh, some continuity...

     It was beautiful!  I came home from picking up my son and got dressed to work out.  It was truly amazing.  Nothing remotely similar to a "back-peddling" thought occurred to me.  It was wonderful.   And, better yet, the workout was smooth and I still ran a few minutes to get my heart rate up.  I hope to keep this routine of every other day going.  It makes me feel strong.

getting to it...

     There is no word for the satisfaction I felt getting on the treadmill today.  I ran eight of the thirty minutes and kept my heart rate up the whole time.  The bouncing of my ass and thighs has left that bruising feeling behind.  I will pay dearly in the morning.  But, no pun intended, I will get better with the soreness.  It will go away as I build my strength up.  I can do it.

2 days off...

     I don't have any excuses because I don't want to think that way anymore.  The treadmill is a necessity today, no matter what.  I have been sedentary the past few days and plan on feeling some endorphins by the end of the day.  Game on, brain!  I will prevail!

Feeling good today...

     I do feel the urge to workout today.  Maybe some small part of my mind is taking over the exercise debate in my head!  My body usually dominates this issue.  I look forward to the feeling of accomplishment right now.  Maybe it is some sort of brain surge that defeats the pesky and doubting  thoughts that are usually there.  I can do this.

HA! I got back to it!

     Way to go!  Good job!  I just walked/jogged for thirty minutes.  I pushed away all of the excuses and kicked my butt out of the house!  The treadmill was occupied when I got there, so I used the elliptical.  It was harder to find a rhythm on and ended up making me more dizzy then I could overcome.  So, when the treadmill opened up, I grabbed it and finished my thirty minutes on it.
     I will myself now to go again tomorrow.  I can do it!

another day...

     I pinky swear to exercise tomorrow!  I cleaned at home today, but didn't make it to the gym.  So, that will have to do for now,:) I like myself and forgive myself for not working out...ugh!

A day off.

     I need a day to get through some stuff.  My comeback will be hard,:)  It'll be harder on the legs...but I won't give up.

What is my malfunction???

     Does everyone wake up and think, "Maybe I can skip working out today"???  I'm tired of my brain working against me.  I want my mind to be on my side in this fight against obesity. 
     I have to come to terms with my thought processes.  If I can overcome the laziness and doubt, then I would be in great shape...no pun intended,:)

Finding that middle ground...

     My bike ride was awesome and I rode farther and faster than the last one.  I track my exercise with the Run Keeper app on my Droid.  It lets me know how I am doing after my workouts.  I think it is important to see the little victories so that I may conquer the bigger ones.
     Falling off my routine yesterday was hard to cope with.  I gave myself a hard time all the way up to falling asleep last night.  I couldn't get my failure out of my head.  Maybe once I learn to give myself a break when I have to start over, then I will move on easier.
     So, onto the next day.  I have to work out tomorrow, but I can't give myself a hard time if something goes wrong.  There has to be a medium between rationalizing myself out of working out and truly needing a day off.  In the end, I'll be happier if I can be nicer to myself.

It's a new day!

     Well, it's time to start my goal over of working out five days in a row.  Eventually, I would like to complete this goal and take two days off, then repeat.
     I'm going for a bike ride.  I'm going for a bike ride.  I'm going for a bike ride!

Only getting worse...

     I don't think I'm going to make it today.  I am in such a funk.  It's only getting worse as the hours go by. 

Today is a day of yuck.

     I am sore in many places, but nothing compares to the yuck in my head today.  I have endured three days in a row of exercise, but I doubt myself the most today.
     I should feel excited.  We have an afternoon orientation for my son's Kindergarten class and a parent meeting in the evening.  I hope my mood will change somewhere between the two and I will be ready to workout this evening.  I haven't exercised so late in the day yet, so here's hoping.
     I really have to focus on my short-term goal of five days in a row of exercise.  It's important to me to attain that goal.  Letting myself down could spiral into my rationalizing why I can miss a day.  That is unacceptable.
     My mantra for the day...I am done being unhealthy and obese.  I am strong-minded.

Three days in a row!

     I did it!  I went to the gym for a third day in a row.  I am truly proud to be able to say it,:)  I found myself jogging! on the treadmill!  I couldn't believe it.  But, the longer I jogged (sometimes with the majority of my weight on the sidebars, as my hands were firmly gripping them), the more I felt my weight.  I could feel the fat in my back and butt bouncing with each step.  Tonight, I can feel the bruising from it.  My back is really tender and I wonder what other pains await me.
     The pain is the scary part.  I not only have to push through each workout, but I have to keep the larger goal in sight.  The goal that keeps the weight off.  The pain will stay with me through each of my goals, it will just morph from one pain to another...but it will always be with me.

     

Gotta get up and go!

     I'm sitting here on the couch questioning myself.  I'm doubting my will.  At least my son is begging for the pool.  I can't very well ignore his pleadings,:)  The gym is next to the pool.  It would be a loss on my part if I pass up the gym for the pool first.  I don't know why it has to be so hard to motivate myself.  Why can't I wake up and just know that I will exercise.

My legs! The burn!!!

     I did it! Two days in a row was a tiny goal, but I whooped it!  My feet were melting the last ten minutes of my treadmill walk.  Then, I swam with my cutie man.  Now, for the "bigger" short term goal.  Can I do five days in a row of exercise?  Or, better yet, will I?
     The pain was definitely intense.  I forgot to eat breakfast or lunch.  I know.  I was really shaky walking back home.  I am really glad that I got out of the house because it was worth the pain.  Who knows, maybe pain is a good thing.  If I can wrap my head around that one, then I should be all good,:)

Can I change?

     Can I get back on the bike today?  Will I exercise two days in a row?  The answer will surprise you!  I don't know.  I never know if I am going to exercise until I jump in the shower and go.  I want to workout.  It maycould become a routine after a few day/weeks,:)
     Wouldn't an exercise routine be amazing for a 260lb woman?  Of course!  But, I have to be vigilant when it comes to those obstacles that stop my brain from seeing the benefits of exercise.  My mind can rationalize any excuse because of the years of practice!  My mind is the biggest issue. 
     I want to think differently...about food, exercise, and generally, myself.  I want to love myself and respect myself more.

     OK.  I am going to go to the gym and take my son swimming afterwards.  Maybe writing all of this down is going to be the driving force that creates new choices for me,:)

Proactive solutions

     Well, I have conquered a beast today.  I rode my bike for 3.40 miles and lived.  There will be more to follow!

     I haven't decided whether or not I will include my eating habits in this little endeavor... What are the consequences of divulging that?  hmmm...

Fed up!

     I am completely fed up with being obese! I am sick of the sweat and the shortness of breath. I despise the fact that I do not take care of myself.  I am making a stand against my addiction to food.  I will ride my bike more often, I will walk to the gym and swim in the pool.  I will. 
     Now, this seems easy enough.  But, there's obstacles out there.  My will is what is in question.  It will be difficult.  I will fall.  But, I will get back up again.
     So, I'll see where this leads...

Want to lose weight with me?  I'll be here,:)